The Blame Game

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Wooo two posts one day!

I thought this was worth addressing.  I had a lot of anger toward this situation, and I wonder if anyone can relate.  Alfredo is the best-tempered cat I have ever had.  I’m not sure if this is because I always had female cats, or what.. but even when compared to his (non-biological) sister, who I love dearly, he is so chill.  He is sociable.  Non-cat people love him because he’s just a cool dude.  So when this apparently rare form of cancer came to him, I was really mad.  Why would this happen to a sweet little man whose LIFE MISSION has been to find friends to love?  Not that I’d wish it on an angry cat, but still.  Life didn’t seem fair.

The first time around, I was told the cancer was pretty cleanly removed along with his toe.  It was not, as we know now.  Could I blame that vet?  Our vet is a sweet older guy that my animals really seem to trust.  I can’t blame him, even if I wanted to.  He listened to my concerns and addressed them.

This past year, I could have had him scanned sooner.  We were planning a wedding and there was a lot going on.  Instead of checking him when symptoms came, what if we’d had him scanned at six months?  WHAT IF.  So I could blame myself.

I joke with Fredo to quit getting cancer, but of course I can’t blame him.

The Blame Game is an easy one to play.  But if I’d scanned him and it was present then, there’s no guarantee that it would have been an easy fix.  The bottom line is.. cancer doesn’t care.  There’s a good chance this would have happened even with the most diligent and thorough care.

Fredo isn’t blaming people.  Once this is over he’ll still probably mosey over for some ear scratches and be just fine.

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  • rica55 says:

    I TOTALLY hear you! They told me when Jill’s toe was removed it was almost certainly gone…….but it wasn’t. I’ve learned that you can’t blame yourself. You can only trust what your vets tell you!

  • Codie Rae says:

    Yup, you got it … “The bottom line is.. cancer doesn’t care. There’s a good chance this would have happened even with the most diligent and thorough care.”

    I think we have all played the blame game at one point or another. But what good does that do any of us? We just have to accept what is, move on with life, and make the most of each day. Just like our furry friends do!

    Welcome to the club none of us wanted to join. This community is fantastic and … as you pointed out … we need more kitties! Not that I would wish an amputation on any cat but you hit that one on the head too. Your willingness to become a member and share your experiences will indeed be invaluable for all those kitties that need advice down the road.

    Looking forward to following Fredo’s adventures as a Tri-Kitty!

    Codie Rae

  • benny55 says:

    You articulated the “blame game” very well!

    And yes, your experience will help others. You’ve kocked the blame game to the curb very well!

    Now go give Fredo some ear scratches for us too! And give yourself a hug…you are doing a great job!!

    Rock on Fredo!

    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!

  • jerry says:

    You are absolutely right; cancer can happen no matter what steps we take. We’ve had members join us whose animals got cancer and those animals ate the best food anyone could buy. It’s so random.

    All we can do is our best and not beat ourselves up. Our animals aren’t and they don’t want to see us upset, so follow Fredo’s lead and hop on, life will still be good and you are sill an amazing pawrent.

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